When somebody says, "Let me be perfectly honest with you," it's time to head for the hills because you can bet they're not bearing welcome news. So you should start running right now.
The truth is, on New Years Eve Day, they got rid of the infection in my body but not before a taint of it touched my spirit. A friend asked recently, "What happened to that bravado of yours?" I told her I only ordered a year's supply. I didn't tell her that bravado is at best a pose.
The truth is that this particular life phase has been a slog. To pretend otherwise disrespects all of us who live with and too often succumb to the monster of disease. Ours is a dance with the devil, and we struggle mightily to keep in step.
The truth also is, my breast reconstruction has failed and must begin again. But with a new surgeon, and there is hope in that.
The truth is, all of this has gone on way too long. But we now embark upon a new timetable, and there is hope in that.
The truth is, some friends have drifted away to nurse their understandable compassion fatigue. But others remain stolidly in place, and there is hope in that.
And, I am still here. There is definitely hope in that.
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12 comments:
Hey Alice,
Contrary to how it sometimes seems, friends don't actually drift away in the main current,just eddy in a circular movement that always brings them back to shore.
I've been checking your blog every few days, and I'm glad to see you are at the keyboard again. I'm sending good thoughts to you and the next set of "girls," and hope it all goes smoothly this time. Love, Jennie
A L I B E T T E ! ! !
Love, Jessica
Dear Alice,
Well, I'm not surprised ... what with your still being in a body, which means that you're human ... that the sludge has temporarily overpowered the verve. But .. I misspeak. It's still there. You posted an entry. You took action. Hope is.
With only one bit of serious surgery, when I thought I might need another I cringed and wanted to hide. I didn't need it, but now know how it feels to spend some time in that room of dread. U continue to amaze and enlighten me about what strength looks like.
Love,
Leiah
You are still here. I am so glad. May the days turn rosy for you. Love, Anne W.
Alice
thank you for being every bit the person you are. I love you for every up and down in and out you offer us. your friend Kathleen
Dear Alice,
I'm glad to see a new post from you; I know that if you're writing, you're surviving.
Beyond survival, there is also the life you want to live. You've had to stay so focused on your body for such a long time, it probably now seems unfair and depressing, because you're itching to get on with other things.
I can't wait to see you in June.
Until then, I hope you're able to use your "writing eyes" while everything is happening around you; your journey is an important one, your story is absolutely worth sharing, and we're all waiting to listen to you.
Love,
Marsha
Dear Alice, My thoughts and prayers are with you and I speak your name every day as I say a prayer for all that are on my prayer list. I am hoping you will be doing what you need to be doing as you walk this path. Please stay strong and know you are blessed!
Please keep Mom in your prayers as she deals with shingles. Shingles is painful enough but for a 97 year old woman it is even harder! Please take care of yourself and know I call out you name every morning. Hilda
Every day I make certain I mention "My Friend Alice". I figure if I keep it out there, some good will come of it and it seems to be working.
Long before your heroic bout with cancer, you demonstrated the core strength not only of body but mind which has stood by you through this ordeal.
You've stood by so many of us in ours hours of need, those who cherish you and care keep you in their thoughts and prayers, grateful to count you as a friend.
So get the twins done right, get back some bounce in your step. I know the twinkle in your eyes has never gone away. You and I both know that humor is healing and a good laugh (usually at ourselves) can often save the day.
See you when you get here.
Love and lots of Hugs,
NY Annie
Alice,
I love you and miss you. Am having some family stuff with a sick son and have been running at my usual pace............too fast to stop myself.
I'm glad you're still here. I think of you often and will call you soon.
Love,
Tep
Thinking of you, Alice. Hang in there. I was glad to get your update.
XOX
Shelley
Alice,
Just keep in mind that friends are always with you, maybe not always near you. But you are loved. And you are a tough broad...I should say you are a brave tough broad!
May God bless you and protect you.
Chris Wenger
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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